She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
