my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Dick very happy bro
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize
