But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize