in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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