Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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