I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
