Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
