he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize