I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
