people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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