Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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