ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
