Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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