why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
