I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
