I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
