It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
