just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
