i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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