Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
