I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
there is glitter all over my balls
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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