You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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