the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
