we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
