yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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