Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
