I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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