If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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