I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
