her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
