i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
