We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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