Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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