i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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