OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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