maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
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