There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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