Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
