I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
