I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize