does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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