i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
