Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
