She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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