Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize