You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
