Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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