fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
