We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
i need to put some appletini on your dick
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Randomize
