I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Randomize
