chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
