I just threw up on my dentist
high people should be assigned attendants
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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