Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
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