you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
