Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
