Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Randomize
