Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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