Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
