I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
