? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
