Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
