hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
