I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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