He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
