3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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