You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
