he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Of course I have a pirate flag
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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