i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
