Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
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