My brain says no but my pants say off.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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