Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
