so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
