i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
