dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
