So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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