Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
