i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
