Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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